May 9, 2008 Mother’s Day

Dear E-pistle subscriber,

As we approach Mother’s Day weekend, my thoughts turn to an experiment in prayer I had when I was on sabbatical three years ago, this month.

You may recall that I began my four-month sabbatical in 2005 with a silent, 14-day retreat at a Jesuit retreat center in California. It was a wonderful experience: a “vacation with the Lord,” as my spiritual director encouraged me to think of it.

But one of the things that made the retreat wonderful was a challenge at first.

I’m thinking of the instruction I received one morning in my daily meeting with my spiritual director (the only time silence is broken during the 14 days is a 30-minute meeting with the Jesuit priest guiding one through the retreat).

Noticing that I was having difficulty opening up and completely trusting God (this is very common!), he asked me to try something new: instead of going directly to God in prayer, to first pray to Mary, the mother of Jesus.

I was to think of what I wanted from God, but instead of praying directly to God, to first imagine myself praying to Mary. . .

. . . I was to picture myself talking to Mary, being in her presence, thinking of her looking at me, listening to me, hearing me out.

Then I was to tell Mary what I wanted.

Then, after telling Mary what I wanted, I was to ask her to go to Jesus and ask him for what I wanted: to intercede for me, so to speak.

Then I was to picture myself doing the same thing with Jesus: instead of praying directly to God the Father (as I picture God the Father), I was to pray to Jesus, the Son of God. . .

. . . I was to picture myself talking to Jesus, being in his presence, think of him looking at me, listening to me, hearing me out.

Then I was to tell Jesus what I wanted.

Then, after telling Jesus what I wanted, I was to ask him to go to God (the Father) and ask him for what I wanted: to intercede for me, so to speak.

THEN I was finally able, allowed, to pray to God the Father.

Like Jacob sending animals and gifts out ahead of him before he approached, in reconciliation, his brother Esau, I was to approach God not directly but first “go through” Mary and then – after she’d relayed my concern/request to Jesus, “go through” Jesus (who of course had already heard about my concern/request), and only THEN -- after he had relayed my concern/request to his Father, pray to God (who by then had already heard about my prayer/request from Jesus, his Son).

Now the reason I say this was a challenge is because I’m pretty much a Protestant when it comes to these kinds of things: I believe we can pray DIRECTLY to God – that we don’t NEED intercessors, be they priests, or even Mary – that our only “mediator and advocate” is Jesus, himself.

In other words, I believe we all have a direct pipeline to God.

But what this exercise taught me is that sometimes that pipeline is clogged.

Sometimes it is clogged with guilt, corroded with the plaque of our sense of worthlessness.

And in those times, an exercise like this can act as a spiritual angioplasty, widening the obstructed prayer-line to God.

If we’re taking God’s power and omniscience and omnipresence seriously – if we think of God as the all-powerful Lord of the Universe (as we should), the downside is that sometimes it makes God pretty darn un-approachable.

So do you see the benefit in an exercise like this?

It’s easy to talk to Mary. She’s a mother. . . the quintessential mother!

A mother you can tell pretty much anything to, confident she’ll hear you out, and take up your case to her son.

A Son whose sole purpose was to take up our case, humanity’s case, and take it to his Father.

Who, by the time you get to Him, is as approachable as Mary.

Faithfully yours,

Fr. John